Transmissions from Earth
Sunday, January 29, 2006
So I Lied.
Yeah, I was gonna wait until Friday, but this is something I really wanted to get written down.
Last night, sitting in a field at about 3AM, a little drunk, a little stoned...I had one of life's big revelations about women.
There are two kinds of attraction in life...you're either attracted because they're the unattainable, or because they give you something that you were missing, and it's only when you're with them that you realized you were missing it all along.
The first kind of women is carved out of steel, all lines and curves and chrome. When you've fallen for one, it's because being with them gives you a taste of the impossible, and you're tempted by the thrill of conquest. However, it's not like it's you showing dominance over them...both sides are simply in such awe of each other that there's no other option besides showing respect for it through aggression. Passion is a good word to describe it.
The second kind of women is earth and arches, warmth and caring. You don't fall for one...you ease into it a little bit at a time and it's only a good way down the line that you realize that this girl has become a part of your life, and that you don't know if you could live normally if they were gone.
It's weird...with absolutely no effort, I can think of three of each type of girl.
¶ 3:44 PM 0 Comments
Last night, sitting in a field at about 3AM, a little drunk, a little stoned...I had one of life's big revelations about women.
There are two kinds of attraction in life...you're either attracted because they're the unattainable, or because they give you something that you were missing, and it's only when you're with them that you realized you were missing it all along.
The first kind of women is carved out of steel, all lines and curves and chrome. When you've fallen for one, it's because being with them gives you a taste of the impossible, and you're tempted by the thrill of conquest. However, it's not like it's you showing dominance over them...both sides are simply in such awe of each other that there's no other option besides showing respect for it through aggression. Passion is a good word to describe it.
The second kind of women is earth and arches, warmth and caring. You don't fall for one...you ease into it a little bit at a time and it's only a good way down the line that you realize that this girl has become a part of your life, and that you don't know if you could live normally if they were gone.
It's weird...with absolutely no effort, I can think of three of each type of girl.
¶ 3:44 PM 0 Comments
Friday, January 27, 2006
Screw You, Immune System.
So, I have it figured out. Every Friday afternoon, I post an update.
A schedule will be a good thing for me...it'll be like a homework assignment or something.
In other news, I'm so sick right now, it's not even funny...it's like I have every cold symptom they've ever thought of, and they're all screaming for attention. My nose is running, I'm cold, I'm tired, my throat hurts, my eyes are watery and I think at least a couple of my organs have left my body for healthier climes. I suppose this is the price I pay for living in a dorm/petri dish.
Even Nyquil isn't working. NYQUIL HAS FORSAKEN ME. That's what disturbs me the most...in a few days the doctors will be conducting my autopsy in those space suits, and as soon as they cut me open they instantly die from a supermutated Andromeda Strain/common cold. I swear to god, this cold will be responsible for the end of civilization as we know it. It's like in 12 Monkeys...I'm just the guy that had to catch it first.
So yeah, spelling and focusing are hard right now, I'm gonna kill this update early. Expect another next Friday, about the same time.
¶ 1:54 PM 1 Comments
A schedule will be a good thing for me...it'll be like a homework assignment or something.
In other news, I'm so sick right now, it's not even funny...it's like I have every cold symptom they've ever thought of, and they're all screaming for attention. My nose is running, I'm cold, I'm tired, my throat hurts, my eyes are watery and I think at least a couple of my organs have left my body for healthier climes. I suppose this is the price I pay for living in a dorm/petri dish.
Even Nyquil isn't working. NYQUIL HAS FORSAKEN ME. That's what disturbs me the most...in a few days the doctors will be conducting my autopsy in those space suits, and as soon as they cut me open they instantly die from a supermutated Andromeda Strain/common cold. I swear to god, this cold will be responsible for the end of civilization as we know it. It's like in 12 Monkeys...I'm just the guy that had to catch it first.
So yeah, spelling and focusing are hard right now, I'm gonna kill this update early. Expect another next Friday, about the same time.
¶ 1:54 PM 1 Comments
Friday, January 20, 2006
Muse Muse Muse Ponder Ponder Ponder
Last night I decided that I want to grow up to be a drunken master. I mean...come ON, how could you NOT want to be one?
I also want to be a pirate, but not like in the fanboy sense of the word, all yarr and cutlasses. I want to be a goddamned pirate. I will sail the Caribbean in a fast motor boat and knock off luxury yachts and maybe smuggle cocaine or something. Because I will also be a drunken master, the Coast Guard will be unable to stand up to my Captain Morgan's fuelled onslaught. Someday I will retire to a tropical island and open a dojo where I will teach my unique style of drunken kung fu. The dojo will be tastefully and elegantly decorated, as befits a pirate king drunken kung fu master. I will be fantastically wealthy, thanks to the profits from hijacking yachts and selling cocaine, but the only sign of my wealth will be my elaborate and extensive collection of books and movies.
On my pirate kung fu island, I will mete out justice in a fair and benevolent manner. Eventually, me and my people will declare ourselves an independent republic. Our chief export will be premium blow, and our primary import will be former millionaires that will serve as galley slaves. To demonstrate my exquisite sense of irony, only former Wall Street traders and Ivy-league students will be assigned to the manufacture of my island's cocaine.
Years from now, I will be featured in history books, and it shall be good.
¶ 4:12 PM 0 Comments
I also want to be a pirate, but not like in the fanboy sense of the word, all yarr and cutlasses. I want to be a goddamned pirate. I will sail the Caribbean in a fast motor boat and knock off luxury yachts and maybe smuggle cocaine or something. Because I will also be a drunken master, the Coast Guard will be unable to stand up to my Captain Morgan's fuelled onslaught. Someday I will retire to a tropical island and open a dojo where I will teach my unique style of drunken kung fu. The dojo will be tastefully and elegantly decorated, as befits a pirate king drunken kung fu master. I will be fantastically wealthy, thanks to the profits from hijacking yachts and selling cocaine, but the only sign of my wealth will be my elaborate and extensive collection of books and movies.
On my pirate kung fu island, I will mete out justice in a fair and benevolent manner. Eventually, me and my people will declare ourselves an independent republic. Our chief export will be premium blow, and our primary import will be former millionaires that will serve as galley slaves. To demonstrate my exquisite sense of irony, only former Wall Street traders and Ivy-league students will be assigned to the manufacture of my island's cocaine.
Years from now, I will be featured in history books, and it shall be good.
¶ 4:12 PM 0 Comments
Monday, January 16, 2006
Ruminations on Football
Well, it's been a couple days since an update...I have an excuse.
Playoff games.
Hardly a GREAT excuse, but an excuse nonetheless...and I DO have something to say on the subject.
The commentating sucks. Today, ESPN.com mentioned that the 4 teams in the division championships didn't have "broad interest." Earlier this season, when the Seahawks were about to play the Giants, three out of four commentators said that Seattle's record was entirely based on the fact their in a weak division. Do you know why all of this was?
Easy. 2 of the 4 teams in the championships are from the far west. The Broncos have plenty of respect, but are "isolated" by the East-Coast based ESPN. As for us poor folks in Seattle, we may as well not exist...who's heard of us, anyway? Of the remaining two teams in the playoffs, the Panthers are the only ones within sight of the Atlantic Ocean- but they're not the Patriots, so they may as well not exist. The Steelers are probably the closest team geographically to the Colts...but they're not the Colts, are they?
Frankly, I'm sick and tired of hearing everywhere that Seattle is overrated, or that the Patriots are on the verge of exploding (thanks, Broncos), or that Peyton Manning is the best QB alive these days (Roelithsberger wants a word outside). The Patriots are packed with talent, sure...but they're clearly not the best team in football these days. Peyton often has the consistency of a robot, but he's human, too. TELL US THESE THINGS.
Or not...I'm perfectly happy riding to the Superbowl on the backs of Hasselbeck, Alexander, Tatupou, Jurevicius, and Jenkins. (Or was it Johnson? I don't know...)
¶ 12:17 PM 0 Comments
Playoff games.
Hardly a GREAT excuse, but an excuse nonetheless...and I DO have something to say on the subject.
The commentating sucks. Today, ESPN.com mentioned that the 4 teams in the division championships didn't have "broad interest." Earlier this season, when the Seahawks were about to play the Giants, three out of four commentators said that Seattle's record was entirely based on the fact their in a weak division. Do you know why all of this was?
Easy. 2 of the 4 teams in the championships are from the far west. The Broncos have plenty of respect, but are "isolated" by the East-Coast based ESPN. As for us poor folks in Seattle, we may as well not exist...who's heard of us, anyway? Of the remaining two teams in the playoffs, the Panthers are the only ones within sight of the Atlantic Ocean- but they're not the Patriots, so they may as well not exist. The Steelers are probably the closest team geographically to the Colts...but they're not the Colts, are they?
Frankly, I'm sick and tired of hearing everywhere that Seattle is overrated, or that the Patriots are on the verge of exploding (thanks, Broncos), or that Peyton Manning is the best QB alive these days (Roelithsberger wants a word outside). The Patriots are packed with talent, sure...but they're clearly not the best team in football these days. Peyton often has the consistency of a robot, but he's human, too. TELL US THESE THINGS.
Or not...I'm perfectly happy riding to the Superbowl on the backs of Hasselbeck, Alexander, Tatupou, Jurevicius, and Jenkins. (Or was it Johnson? I don't know...)
¶ 12:17 PM 0 Comments
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
Disjointed Lullabies
I want to post something but I'm not sure where to go.
What I do know is that just typing gives me some direction- that the first and only step is putting words to paper. If I don't like them I can erase them, and that will have prompted something else to come bubbling forth, and then I can write about that. I think the problem is that I update late at night, when I'm worn out and mellow. Ideas are harder then, especially funny ones.
I always look back at these postings and kind of hate myself. It's all right* though, they're part of my canon.
*Segue: it's not "alright", dammit. Nor is it "alot."
I'm kind of hoping that someday I'll make it big with something, and that kids in college working towards Master's degrees have to read the unabridged Nick, and they'll have to riffle through hundreds of meaningless posts like this and be forced to describe how they influenced my writing style.
Hell, it doesn't have to be me that makes it big. I'll just keep a quiet little flame alive in my heart for the Terminally Fucked Over Student. It's kind of like the flame for the Unknowns or JFK, but more metaphysical and less likely to have a President stand in front of it to give a speech. However, it will keep on burning as long as people write doctorate papers on glory holes.
No, seriously.
My english prof last quarter.
He rocked.
¶ 11:39 PM 0 Comments
What I do know is that just typing gives me some direction- that the first and only step is putting words to paper. If I don't like them I can erase them, and that will have prompted something else to come bubbling forth, and then I can write about that. I think the problem is that I update late at night, when I'm worn out and mellow. Ideas are harder then, especially funny ones.
I always look back at these postings and kind of hate myself. It's all right* though, they're part of my canon.
*Segue: it's not "alright", dammit. Nor is it "alot."
I'm kind of hoping that someday I'll make it big with something, and that kids in college working towards Master's degrees have to read the unabridged Nick, and they'll have to riffle through hundreds of meaningless posts like this and be forced to describe how they influenced my writing style.
Hell, it doesn't have to be me that makes it big. I'll just keep a quiet little flame alive in my heart for the Terminally Fucked Over Student. It's kind of like the flame for the Unknowns or JFK, but more metaphysical and less likely to have a President stand in front of it to give a speech. However, it will keep on burning as long as people write doctorate papers on glory holes.
No, seriously.
My english prof last quarter.
He rocked.
¶ 11:39 PM 0 Comments
Tuesday, January 10, 2006
Internal Monologues...
Conscious: Okay, guys, what's going on down here?
Impulsiveness: Um, nothing at all. Should there be? I think there should be. Let's get shitfaced tonight.
Conscience: On a weeknight? Come on...let's try and get decent grades, just to shake things up. Change the pace a little. Wouldn't it be nice to walk out of the quarter with a 4.0?
Angst: Why bother? It's not like it's gonna pick up chicks or anything. Hell, I'm not sure anything we do will pick up chicks. Fuck, why bother? We're horny all the time...
Libido: Hell yeah!
Angst: Shut up! Shut up! I was talking! NO ONE LISTENS TO ME. Jesus FUCK it's like I'm living with a bunch of two year olds. If we worked together, we could be something really great, you know? I think we're just a whole bunch of potential. Never mind that we seem to repel actual, earnest, relationships. I bet if we had a girlfriend, everything would be a ton better.
Conscience: Um...Angst? Maybe it would be good if you didn't talk so much...
Angst: Fine then. I'll shut up. It's not like you guys listen.
Impulsiveness: So...ah...who's up for getting drunk?
Libido: Hell yeah!
Conscience: I'm not sure I like you two sitting by each other.
Libido: Conscience, why do you hate me so much?
Conscience: Because you always seem to lead us into really uncomfortable situations, and I end up having to make Angst stop crying.
Angst: Crying is natural!
Conscious: Um, this has been great, but I think I'm gonna go...
Angst: Oh god, it was something I said.
See, this is why I try to avoid getting too self-analytical. It always ends up in a fight.
¶ 11:22 PM 0 Comments
Impulsiveness: Um, nothing at all. Should there be? I think there should be. Let's get shitfaced tonight.
Conscience: On a weeknight? Come on...let's try and get decent grades, just to shake things up. Change the pace a little. Wouldn't it be nice to walk out of the quarter with a 4.0?
Angst: Why bother? It's not like it's gonna pick up chicks or anything. Hell, I'm not sure anything we do will pick up chicks. Fuck, why bother? We're horny all the time...
Libido: Hell yeah!
Angst: Shut up! Shut up! I was talking! NO ONE LISTENS TO ME. Jesus FUCK it's like I'm living with a bunch of two year olds. If we worked together, we could be something really great, you know? I think we're just a whole bunch of potential. Never mind that we seem to repel actual, earnest, relationships. I bet if we had a girlfriend, everything would be a ton better.
Conscience: Um...Angst? Maybe it would be good if you didn't talk so much...
Angst: Fine then. I'll shut up. It's not like you guys listen.
Impulsiveness: So...ah...who's up for getting drunk?
Libido: Hell yeah!
Conscience: I'm not sure I like you two sitting by each other.
Libido: Conscience, why do you hate me so much?
Conscience: Because you always seem to lead us into really uncomfortable situations, and I end up having to make Angst stop crying.
Angst: Crying is natural!
Conscious: Um, this has been great, but I think I'm gonna go...
Angst: Oh god, it was something I said.
See, this is why I try to avoid getting too self-analytical. It always ends up in a fight.
¶ 11:22 PM 0 Comments
Obligatory Second Post
Hello world.
Why, hello Nick.
And how are you today?
Well, I'm okay Nick. Full of people. Rather bustling...about average, I'd say.
That's good to hear, world. I think I'll talk to you later.
I think I have a tendency to fall in love with a particular convention. These days it's dialogue. Occasionally it's...ellipses. Sometimes I have a tend. to abbr. things, creating my own little shorthand. Sadly, I don't think it's my skills evolving, just me focusing on something new and weird.
It all boils down to an existential crisis involving my identity and my role in the world. Really, it's the stuff of epics, utterly fascinating. If my life was a book I'd imagine millions would want to read it. Mostly because the world couldn't imagine that someone so humble and insightful could be so young. I mean, he's saying things that no one on Earth has ever brought up before.
I may be pragmatic, but at least I'm a realist. I mean, how many struggling internet writers can make that particular claim to fame? Didn't think so.
Well, world, I'm feeling kind of sick and my throat is all scratchy, so I might turn in now.
But Nick, half of me is all sunny and warm! Don't you want to stay up a bit and chat?
You know I'd love to, world...but I'm just beat right now. I'm surprised I'm even up right now. You take care, world. There are some people in Australia and Japan that probably need your attention right now.
Good point. G'night, Nick.
Good night world. ¶ 12:06 AM 0 Comments
Why, hello Nick.
And how are you today?
Well, I'm okay Nick. Full of people. Rather bustling...about average, I'd say.
That's good to hear, world. I think I'll talk to you later.
I think I have a tendency to fall in love with a particular convention. These days it's dialogue. Occasionally it's...ellipses. Sometimes I have a tend. to abbr. things, creating my own little shorthand. Sadly, I don't think it's my skills evolving, just me focusing on something new and weird.
It all boils down to an existential crisis involving my identity and my role in the world. Really, it's the stuff of epics, utterly fascinating. If my life was a book I'd imagine millions would want to read it. Mostly because the world couldn't imagine that someone so humble and insightful could be so young. I mean, he's saying things that no one on Earth has ever brought up before.
I may be pragmatic, but at least I'm a realist. I mean, how many struggling internet writers can make that particular claim to fame? Didn't think so.
Well, world, I'm feeling kind of sick and my throat is all scratchy, so I might turn in now.
But Nick, half of me is all sunny and warm! Don't you want to stay up a bit and chat?
You know I'd love to, world...but I'm just beat right now. I'm surprised I'm even up right now. You take care, world. There are some people in Australia and Japan that probably need your attention right now.
Good point. G'night, Nick.
Good night world. ¶ 12:06 AM 0 Comments
Monday, January 09, 2006
The Saga Continues (Oh God, Jar Jar Binks Reference)
So...
Is this thing on?
My, you're a lovely audience.
Yeah, just flew in from Livejournal after a rather messy six year relationship...I guess it's a step up. Sort of maybe. One blog to another, I'm guessing both have similar numbers of manic-depressed tweeners and high schoolers who desperately crave some sort of contact with a human being.
So yeah...got my Sandman reference in the web line, got my spiffy little template, this thing's ready to roll.
I think I'm gonna like it here.
¶ 3:03 PM 0 Comments
Is this thing on?
My, you're a lovely audience.
Yeah, just flew in from Livejournal after a rather messy six year relationship...I guess it's a step up. Sort of maybe. One blog to another, I'm guessing both have similar numbers of manic-depressed tweeners and high schoolers who desperately crave some sort of contact with a human being.
So yeah...got my Sandman reference in the web line, got my spiffy little template, this thing's ready to roll.
I think I'm gonna like it here.
¶ 3:03 PM 0 Comments
